one of these experiences was my spring break in puerto penasco mexico last year. not your typical spring break on the beach. this was a service trip to paint houses. i got to spend a week doing service in mexico with my very best friends. all of whom i went to india with the previous november. i can't explain how much i love ymad. you create the most incredible bond with these people once you travel the world in service together. how often do you find friends to last a lifetime outside of your family? these people are my family. the bairds are my heroes for creating what they have. they have made a difference in the lives of kids in india, families in mexico, and teenagers from utah.
anyways....all day i have let myself soak in my memories of mexico. sometimes i wonder why i let myself dive deep into nostalgia. it hurts. my heart hurts so much today. it longs for mexico. it longs for the people i haven't seen for months. but i let myself remember because it is good to remember. good to remember the wonderful experiences i have had. the joy i have and continue to have. good to remember the blessings the Lord has filled every bit of my life with.
oh what i would give to be back in those moments. 20 hour car rides squished in the middle of the back seat. easter sunday in arizona and the mesa easter pageant. the sun beating down on us in our long sleeve shirts and scrubs. the smell of paint that filled our noses after hours on end of painting. the neck cramps from reaching for the corners in the ceilings. singing taylor swift off the balcony at night. the mexican kids helping us paint the rooms that would soon be theirs. the shrimp, the tacos, every bit of straight up real mexican food that makes my mouth water. harmonizing to "if you like pina coladas" while we drank them for the first time. sunsets on the beach. the boys gross "mexi-staches" they tried to grow. churros from the stand on the side of the road. late night conversations with those friends i love and adore. young men/young womens with the mexican youth. the day we got to spend on the beach after working so hard to finish the houses. laying in hammocks and letting the sun beat down until you get so hot you have to jump in the ocean. i've let myself go back to each of those moments today. it seriously makes me want to cry. why does it hurt so much today? perhaps because it was a year ago from this very time. it makes it easier to go back and feel those feelings. not just remember the good times, but to actually feel them.
but here is the thing, i can't be back in those moments ever again. even if i went back now it would not be the same. so why long for them? perhaps someday i will be longing for this very moment. just a freshman in college trying to figure out my life. "enjoy the moment" is my family theme. because i have done that, i have had those good times. so i must continue to do that. enjoy this moment...now.
but for today, i will let myself long for mexico. for my friends i miss. i will continue to look at the pictures on facebook. i will listen to the playlist we created for our car ride there. and i will sing to myself the words from james taylor: "oooooh mexico...you sound so simple i've just got to go." ah, it hurts to remember. but it is a good hurt. i've had a good life. i have a good life.
i LOVE the pictures. hey mabye you could put up a picture of me some day. you are the BEST sister in the whole world. i am your #2 fan. i love you.
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